On April 13th 2003 I married my high school sweet heart, Steph. Well done to the mathematicians, we have been married for 10 years today. So because Steph is really into blogging at the moment, I thought I’d write a blog post declaring my love for my wife (how soppy).
Happy anniversary. I thought about buying you some jewellery, maybe a new ring. But you have developed this allergic reaction to your wedding rings. Maybe you’re allergic to being married? Maybe some fancy earrings or a necklace, but we don’t have the money for super nice bling, and buying something too cheap just wouldn’t cut it for 10 years. So jewellery was out.
You have hinted you wanted some lego. Maybe I could get you some Lord of the Rings sets. But which ones? A small set that would take 20 minutes to make, or the biggest, baddest Middle earth brick set available? Either way going to Toys R Us to buy you a gift just didn’t seem right. And certainly wouldn’t be something to cherish for years to come. So no Lego.
I could at least get you some flowers. It’s hard on a day when I’m home all day with you, I could sneak out in the morning and get some but that leaves you battling with the kids as usual, and that doesn’t seem right. You never know I might snag a nice bunch somewhere, but that doesn’t really signify a gift to keep and cherish. So no flowers as the main prize.
Maybe a card at least? But we don’t ever do cards. We never have. And what if I give you a card and you don’t in return? Are you slack? Or did I trick you by playing the ‘no card’ game for the last 10 years, then springing one on you now. And really do you want to keep a piece of cardboard with a picture of pastel flowers on the front and cheesy writing on the inside. Cards suck, so no card for you.
So all you’ll get is me. Just plain old me. You’ll wake up in the morning and I’ll be there, sitting on the couch in my undies and smelling faintly of beer and marine flares after last nights game (we won by the way). I’ll make you a coffee, in your big Winnie the Pooh mug, 2 spoons of coffee and the amount of milk that you like. I’ll change the babies stinky nappy then sneak off to have my morning shower. I won’t shave today, because I know you like my beard. And i’ll also light our wedding candle, because Fr. Sobb told us to ( and yes, I know what it is supposed to represent).
I’ll take the big boy to soccer, will drive the girl to Ballet. You’ll clean up the kitchen and vacuum the baby’s morning tea that is now all over the floor. Saturday I usually do the groceries but will skip it this time, we can get bread and milk on Sunday. We’ll get to go to our annual movie night thanks to your mum babysitting and you’ll want popcorn and diet coke, and have a massive bite of my ice cream. Just another day really, but at least with a date night at the end.
We’re not jetting off somewhere exotic, showering ourselves in material gifts or doing anything of particular significance. But i’m sure our 10 year wedding anniversary will be great. For a while I felt bad that I couldn’t give you more, and said as much to you. But I figure that’s OK, because after 10 years of marriage, experiencing many ups and downs we are here now and are in a good place. We understand each other, know each other and continue to be there for each other. Do we need ‘things’ to say I love you?
Writing this for you through a blog is very much in the moment, I mean 6 months ago it would have seemed silly but today it’s relevant. It’s relevant because it’s currently a big part of your life, therefore a part of my life. And we adapt. We have adapted, changed and grown over the last 10 years. That’s what makes marriage exciting, and by being willing and accepting of change we have built a strong relationship, a happy home and a great family. And with all of those things who needs gifts anyway?
Love you lots and tots.